My secret life exposed

My secret life exposedLet's start off by saying this, I have always known that I was different. From my early years on I found myself trying on my sister's clothes and underwear and exploring my backdoor when I had the chance.On the surface I was your typical small town athlete, in with the popular crowd and active with girls. Beneath the surface, I was a different person. I was ashamed of who I was, but I could never bury it completely. Alone at night, in the shower, when the house was empty besides me, the secret part of me that I keep hidden would come out. I lived for those moments, my heart would always race and I could feel my face flush. Naughty doesn't begin to describe how it felt.This pattern of behavior continued long past high school into college. Like I said before, sports have always been a big part of my life and baseball provided me an opportunity to continue athletics at the next level. I moved up to school with he help of my family and girlfriend, now wife , like i said, this is my secret life.I found myself continuing to make the best of moments I had alone, but when you're sharing a room with your teammate that doesn't come up often. I loved when I would stay with my girl and she would have class or work that allowed me time to experiment in her apartment alone. My hands would tremble each time I opened her panty drawer and slid each pair up my legs. The butterflies going wild in my stomach as I arched my back and positioned myself in front of her mirror, admiring how curvy they could make me look. I loved the way they made me feel and the way they made me look. I felt sexy, something I never felt while living my normal life. I knew girls had always found me attractive, but couldn't help but think what a man would feel if they saw me dressed up. I imagined how they would crave my body and be desperate for me. I wanted so badly to experience that in real life but have always kept it as a dream and never a reality.After college I married my longtime girlfriend and we began our lives together, her still not having any idea how I truly felt inside. Once we had our own place and knowing my wife worked nights at times as a nurse, I knew I would have more time to play. I dove down the rabbit hole of ordering myself some panties and lingerie, then some toys, eventually heels, wig, bras etc. I loved the excitement of getting my Amazon package and knowing it held in it my next adventure.Like clockwork, on nights where I was alone I would end up dressed from head to toe in the sexiest outfit I could think of. Watching hours of porn online until I finally couldn't take it anymore and would go to play with my toys. The feeling of bouncing on my dildo's had become an addiction for me, trying to match my body's rhythm to that of the girl I was watching online. My brain taking me to a hotel room where a man was using my body instead of me by myself in our basement.It was a fall afternoon on the weekend and I was deep into the Husker football game. This is one of the few times I could tell you truthfully that I wasn't day dreaming about someone bending me over the couch and pulling my pants down. The door rang and I went to see who it was as my wife was getting ready for work in the bedroom. I opened the door to find my neighbor Nick. He asked how my weekend was going and then handed me a package from Amazon. ?I think they delivered this to my place on accident? he stated. I thanked him and returned to my seat on the couch to catch the rest of the game.I found myself in a particularly good mood after seeing my team win one, which, those of you who follow college football know hasn?t been easy for us. I had been casually sipping on some beer throughout the game and the slight buzz and win had me feeling great. My wife had gone to work for the night and that secrete urge that I had been denying all day started to surface again. A light went off in my head and my attention moved to the package my neighbor had dropped off. I had been looking forward to my newest addition to the toy and panty collection as it had been some time since I last ordered some play things.As I opened the box, my heart again began to race. It always made me feel so horny knowing somebody somewhere saw the contents of this box when they shipped it. I smiled at the thought of someone knowing my secret, but also enjoyed the safety of knowing that worker was states away from me.I pulled out my newest toy, a thick dildo designed to imitate a big black man, one of my wildest fantasies. I held it in my hand and grinned, it was heavy and very realistic.. I knew it would be a great time. A new anal plug was the next thing I unwrapped, not the exhilarating sight that the dildo was, but fun nonetheless. I saw at the bottom some of the new panties I had ordered. A sudden rush of excitement hit me as I saw the satin material sitting in the box, bright and shiny. I instantly got excited and wanted to see how they framed my tushy. I pulled out the first pair and started laying them out to see the total collection.As I pulled out the second pair, the return label fell onto the floor. My stomach sank through the floor when I picked it up and saw handwriting on it.?Looks like a good time? was all the note said. Damn it, i thought to myself, what kind of person would risk their job to send some note like this? My nerves started to settle as again I thought, this person was so distant from my life they could have no effect on me. I poured myself another drink and made my way to the bathroom to try on the pair of panties that most caught my eye.I watched as my bottom pulled the fabric tight in just the right places, admiring how sexy I looked. I was proud of my butt, always had been. The squats and lunges that benefited my athletic career also helping sculpt a feminine backside. My phone buzz and I looked to see who had text me.?Enjoying your new clothes?? displayed on my screen.. I almost dropped my phone as I saw it was my neighbor Nick. My mind raced back to the note left in the box, was it Nick that wrote that?! I looked like the box had been taped over but I thought this came from the packaging department that way. Had Nick opened up my box?Surely he hadn?t snooped and opened the box himself, I tried to tell myself. Maybe he just assumed it was clothing and was being polite??Online shopping is hard to beat? I text back to him, my hands shaking with nervousness. ?That sounds innocent enough? I thought.*buzz* another text back from Nick, ?I know, might get a sideways look buying those in the store? with a winking eye emoji.?I?m a dead man? I thought, Nick not only knows that I purchased a bunch of panties and sex toys, but knows they were for me!I looked in the mirror, my face was cherry red, I think I could see my heart thumping in my chest. The satin panties still hugging my hips.My deepest secret was no longer mine alone. *Buzz* ?Don?t worry, I won?t tell anyone? Nick texted me. For the first time in what felt like hours a sense of relief washed over me. Maybe I can trust him to keep this quiet and he was just pulling my chain a bit. Hopefully we can both laugh this off and pretend it never happened.*Buzz* ?Care if I come over for a bit? I saw you wife took off for work..? Nick saidMy eyebrows shot up as I read his text, ?He want?s to hang out still??. Maybe he will be cool about all of this and we can smooth things over with a beer or two.Then my thoughts shifted, what if he wasn?t going to be cool about all of this. What if he black mails me somehow? ?I?ll just deny that they are for me, he doesn?t know about all my fetishes? I thought.Another thought raced through my mind suddenly, what if he liked that I dressed up? What if he wanted to substitute for one of my toys and give me the real thing?I felt like I couldn?t breathe, the lump in my throat was hard to ignore. Then I heard the doorbell ring. I looked myself in the eye.. the mirror showing my secrets clearly. I?d never felt so vulnerable and alive. I quickly pulled on my jeans and shirt and went to the door. My hand was shaking as I opened the door, I could get the words to come out of my mouth.Nick smiled and said ?Can I come in??. I moved to the side and let him in, shutting the door behind him. I dared not to turn around and face the situation.What had I gotten myself in to?Like for chapter 2 to see where this story goes